Sunday, September 25, 2011

Eternally simple in its complexity.

Brain Parliament is a funny decision making process sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if it's more complex than real parliament...

The odd part is, the ego, me, being the veto power (yes, with the nerve to veto parliament, I'm not about to cry and forcefeed myself twinkies anytime soon) ultimately feels that each decision made to this point was not of my own whim. I feel as if I have been living my life on someone else's wishes. Of course the fact that each decision you make will be influenced by something (TV, Parents, Videogames, Friends, Webcomics, Role Models, etc) aside, I feel that truly no decision I've made has come without suggestion or order from another. I feel I cannot truly think for myself and that I miss things when I do, important things, things that should not be forgotten. I need to forge my own path and to do that, it must be without doing what others suggest, and reaping the consequences of my actions be they good or bad. I feel that is the only way I am to gain life experience right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to do the opposite of what peopel tell me, because that's jsut spite and will also serve me nothing.

I've not accomplished much in life currently, mind you even Julius Caesar didn't accomplish much at this point in his life. At the age of 45 he had just received his first army, and when he looked upon a statue of Alexander he wept, because Alexander had obtained his army at the age of 20 and had conquered the known world by the age of 27. As of now, I've been accepted to three different schools, with this latest one being Audio Engineering, that decision was mine. I've toured Europe for two months, even then I feel I went to most of the places that my parents wanted me to go to (not that I didn't enjoy it), with only a couple of things I wanted to do. I've successfully held down a job, now going into my 5th year, which is good considering most my age can't do that. I've been playing guitar since I was 15 and, well, I don't consider myself that good, given that I feel basic things are lost on me. I recently discovered that when I concentrate hard enough on learning something new on guitar, I actually stop breathing for a bit, then start again faster and taking deeper breaths thus throwing off my heartbeat and any shred of internal rhythm I have, fucking up my actions. It's frustrating that I forget to do something basic when I'm trying to do something new. Added to that I have focusing issues due to having ADD. I'm not using ADD as an excuse, as far as I'm concerned it isn't and is not a barrier whatsoever, but I notice it in daily living and it frustrates me. I routinely have these issues of losing my train of thought halfway through, scrambling to try and think of soemthing to say and it coming out with wrong word or phrase, or stopping completely wondering where the fuck I was going. It happens all the time, and is frustrating as fuck because it makes me feel like a complete idiot. It hinders memory, I half the time have to ask and re-ask what people say to be sure of what I need to do or remember, which again makes me feel dumb because it's probably something so remotely simple a dog can understand it. I can't remember who tells me what half the time, nor do I remember what I've said to others, only that I know I've said it before. Explaining myself can be a challenge, because a lot of the time people will ask why I'm doing soemthing and I can have a perfectly logical thought patterns and know why I do it, but when asked I go blank, thus giving the impression I don't know what I do or do things without thinking. Half the time my only response is "because I was told to/taught to do it this way" meaning I DON'T THINK FOR MYSELF. Regardless of what goes on in my head, no one sees that and we observe based on what we see, not what we infer. Bottom life of this is, as said before, i feel I've not accomplished anything and my own brain parliament drags itself in multiple directions at once, ultimately being guided by an external source and living on another's wishes, instead of my own.

In life, you need to blaze your own trail, regardless of whare you end up. I simply want to look back on my life and, regardless of how much or how badly I've fucked up over the years, I want to say that it was my decision, this was why, how stupid it was, and be at peace with that. I can't live because someone else suggests or advises me to do something, regardless of his sensical or domineering it is. I need to understand myself, and thus understand why I do things, and dominate this stupid behavioural disorder and re-learn that ADD is not a disease, but a gift.  Train muself to use it as an advantage and not a weight as I've been taught it is. But... I do not know how.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Embracing a sea of challenge, conflict, and metal.

Speaking of creative ways to make breakfast! I've decided that come October 1st I'll be moving in with a friend of mine from work, instead of relocating with my parents. It'll be better for my commute to school and the ability to stay awake at night to work on audio stuff (with headphones in of course) will help me immensely. Having my own space, of course with financial responsibility, will also help out loads. I know from ym kelowna experience that I can do it, and being in a prime transit location close to school and work will also mean I don't need to use my car. For now, it's a tougher choice, but long term it probably sets me up for better opportunities. I'd rather not risk coming all the way from Richmond and missing even one connection that'll make me 15 mins late for class. Plus I get along well with Jeff, he's shown me his place and we've sorted out all the little things that ar eimportant to us. He won't care how my room looks (so long as there's no bacteria farms and it smells half decent) and I have enough common sense to know that whatever mess I make I clean it up. It will be a challenge at first, but one I can easily embrace.

Apart from that interesting piece of information, this week has been brutal! Last weekend was the Rock Creek Fall Fair. Got to hang with my friends again and catch up with them. Wandered around for a bit and checked out some stuff. All in all really, I could miss the fair and honestly care less about anything that happens there. I go for the reunion with friends and the epic tales that seem to come from that. I saw Spencer again and was really happy he's doing well. Was really glad Clinton, Kayli, and Darrell were able to make it up for the fair too. I also brought Adam and his gf, Jessie, up as well. All in all it turned out to be an interesting reunion for a Saturday. We all split ways by early evening, but the epic tales did not end. I heard Darrell was pressured into, using a firey means to mow his lawn. Yes, let's leave it at that. Adam and Jessie went home, and I rolled out with Spencer and Cassandra to the Pub, I said hi to my old boss and we proceeded to eat and drink. Turned out that Spencer's ex-wife and her family were there too, so that proved to be a little awkward for them. I won't get into the details, but let's just say that it was rather entertaining listening to their...laughter. Anyways, after paying our tabs, we rolled up to his old family farm and proceeded to have epic conversation about how to get through to women, life, happiness, following your instincts, and of course, BEER! Though I learned one really valuable lesson: NEVER EVER MIX BOILERMAKERS IN YOUR MOUTH!!! That...really did not end well. Further proof that the first wave you don't feel, the second wave starts hurting, and the third wave IS WHERE YOU DIE! Well ok, I'm not dead, but you get the idea...

The next day was spent in total recovery mode, had an epic buffet breakfast, then I rolled back to Greenwood to visit with Adam's family. The entire day was spent playing Mariokart 64. We once again realized exactly how truthful this comic really is: Anyone who has played mariokart WILL UNDERSTAND THE BRUTAL ANNOYANCE OF OTHER PLAYERS!!! Either way, it was a horrendously fun, despite all the F-bombs, and resulted in many laughs, mishaps, and the very frequent high five.

Yesterday night was a concert I've been waiting for for 3 months. I went with Melissa to see Arch Enemy. That show was absolutely incredible!!! We showed up just after Skeletonwitch started playing and they were pretty awesome. I have nothing to say about devildriver. The bassist kept spitting on the crowd. Who the hell are you, Sid Vicious? Grow the fuck up. That's just disgusting. I honestly couldn't wait for them to leave. Arch Enemy came on and put on an amazing show. Their stage presence was phenomenal, and I honestly couldn't figure out who to look at: Angela or Michael. Michael because, he's the guitarist and Anglea because, well, she's killer awesome. She started talking about Amnesty International and how people in places in the world get beaten for learning to read, expressing art or clothing that shows freedom or individuality, murdered for using their voice to speak out against horrendous conditions. You name it. I admit, my first thought was "great, it's the Bono treatment" but that honestly could not be farther from the truth. She doens't just rant and rave, being in the position they are puts them in prime spots to stand up for and fight for freedom for others, and get other people to get angry about this and care about the world. If used correctly, anger can be a powerful force of change and a powerful driving force for good. They're political because they care, which many people don't do anymore. Why should we be concerned with somethign that doesn't directly affect us? Walk a mile in their shoes, and see what you think. You wouldn't like that happening to you, would you? I donate to the United Way for that very reason. We become so easily detached from things that it's sad, we're so easily distracted from the world. As a human being, I think it's up to those who have to commit a portion to those without to empower them to change their world for the better. Who else is gonna do it? Thank you Arch Enemy, for being a band that fights for a better world, where too many are just meatheads who could care less. Follow your dreams, because too many don't, and just lie to themselves.

Apart from that, the show was still incredible. Of course Michael Arnott comes out and hands picks to everyone, and he handed one right to me! The problem was, some fucking douchebag stole it right out of my hand as I was closing it. Asshole! What are you going to do with it! Probably cum on it. That pick had special powers that would have made me an OK guitarist, instead of a certified wanker! I did get to high five Angela though. It's always really awesome to have some kind of human contact with your heroes, who aren't despicable. Too many role models are horrible, greedy people who paint themselves as the saviours of our time and keep the world in an age of darkness and only truly understand half of the truth. These are the people that need to be cast down. The people need to speak and say that we will not stand for plutonomy or greed. We want Equity.

Apart from that, Vacation is almost over. Work Saturday, and coupled with moving to two different locations (helping parents move to one and me moving to the other) will prove to be very very challenging. It'll be worth it though. I'm learning to make my own mistakes and decide what I need to do, even if I'm wrong, mistakes can translate into opportunities. Confidence is looking back and admitting you were wrong but understanding and standing up for why you did it, Arrogance is never admitting it was wrong.


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Metal, DnD, Determinism, Integrity, and Wings!

Gorram it, In one week there's been a lot to talk about!!!

Okay so last week I spoke about coffee with someone I met on POF. Turns out Melissa is pretty damn awesome and has started introducing me to more metal. We had coffee and I invited her out drinking with some buddies on monday, which turned out to be very awesome. I introduced her to Adam, Jessie and, Wayne. Looking forward to many more meetings! Actually, I'm fully considering buying Napalm Death and Mayhem tickets for their October and November shows. Both at the Rickshaw. Damn that's gonna be epic! Especially if Melissa wants to go, which he says she does.

But ok, so the entire weekend has been pretty insane. Given that labour day was monday, customers at work were absolute savage both sunday and tuesday. Either way, Challenge was accepted and I appeared to do alright considering. Vacation also got approved so I have a week off come september. I'm looking forward to the Fall Fair and Arch Enemy afterward. The fall fair back in my hometown is a yearly tradition that I missed last year. I've made plans to go, so I'm sorry Lesley, I'm going to miss your birthday. We will hangout soon!

The previous Saturday (not last) we had our first official DnD meeting, where we discussed exactly what it is we expect from the group and the game itself. We decided on rolling with Version 3.5, because Version 4 is absolute bullshit. Why I spent over 200 bucks on those books is beyond me. Dug out all of my dice and such, so this should be awesome. All of us, Adam, Teno, Leanne, and Vic seem to be on the same page. Everything is going to be awesome! Looking forward to it!!!

Last saturday was an epic night of beer and debauchery between Myself, Ben, and Vic. It turned out to be Kareoke night at the pioneer, as if listening to bad music sung through autotune on Beat 94.5 at work isn't bad enough, we of course were subjected to it at kareoke, nevermind people not saying the lyrics that are right in front of them. Then of course someone had to try and convince us to sing. My solution: Sing Katy Perry with a death growl. That would have been awesome, if horrifying cause my singing voice is cruel and unusual punishment. If I sang, someone would have to notify the UN. Either way, Conversation appeared to range from why metal is awesome, me teaching Ben's sister, Rachel, guitar, Determinism versus Free Will, and what life in itself is all about and the idea of having power and domination over everything in order to succeed, however this is not to be taken in a demeaning manner: Domination and power in this sense simply means mastery and accomplishment, when you achieve this, you move onto the next thing, hence life is all about finding the next plaything (again not to sound demeaning, jsut that once somethign is fulfilled, find something else) but the question remains, is life determined in that every moment is the byproduct of the previous moment, or does Free Will have a factor in that we have the ability to choose? Interesting question. Turns out stupid people aren't the problem, but smart people who only understand half of the reality, they destroy things.

Monday, as previously mentioned, was another epic drinking night, sadly neither Ben nor Victor could make it, but Adam and Jessie did, along with Wayne and Melissa. Hudson's pub has great wings!!! Most of the night was spent talking about metal, and a lot of the crazy stories from Wayne's Metal shows. Melissa's last metal show was in 2008, which is incredibly sad. Though Wayne was telling us about his experiences with Nazi skinheads meeting a 6'8" Native American; Mose's epic Judo throw on some fatass obnoxious drunk at Alice in Chains; The Beastie Boys calling some guy out, from the stage no less, for being a complete and utter pig toward women; and of course the previous Slayer show. Unfortunately, the chef's in the kitchen were playing Lamb of God, which is like the Nickelback of Metal. We wanted to march in there, throw our plates at them, and forcefeed them some Dying Fetus. LISTEN TO REAL METAL!!! \m/

Of coruse yesterday I had an interesting crisis regarding integrity. Question is do I actualyl ahve any? I firmly believe that if someone does not have integrity, then what do they have? Though, I often feel my daily life does not reflect the values I uphold. I often am perplexed at how I can solve this issue, and despite others pointing it out to me and me accepting the constructive critisism, I do not fully understand how to rectify it. Perhaps that is the experience of life and that I simply am not fully happy at my situation, which I knew. Perhaps next month I shall see where it goes.

Which brings me to today: I plan on visiting the bank (woo...), seeing my friend Julie for coffee and catching up on shit since High School, heading down to Scrape for tickets, and visiting the Apple Store (omfg...what have I become?) All in all, it should be fun.


Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Souls of the Damned

The sad part is this is true!

In this time I've realized I've gone roughly two weeks without blogging. Possibly more? either way... UNACCEPTABLE!!! Needless to say I have been busy. 4 days in kelowna, 3 weeks of working, 2 days of torrenting the internet, and one response on Plenty of fish, plus one metal show.

Woah wait a sec, yes okay, commence your laughter. I started up a POF account again, just to see what's out there. So far I've yielded one response, however that one response has turned out to be awesome. Really, is that not all it takes? Looking forward to coffee.

About two weeks ago I went up to kelowna for only 4 days on a week of paid vacation. Saw some friends but of course not as many as I'd have liked to see. There's never enough time!!! However, epic shennanigans did in fact arise as I was invited to Play Dungeons and Dragons with friends. +10 to tomfoolery! (see Entry for Wed Aug 17th 2011, it will update.)

Given it was my first time playing DnD in a very long time, of course I had to reroll another character. So I decided to roll Thor. Well ok actually the closest thign to thor, a viking barbarian, well ok technically Uthgardt (pronounced Oath-Guard) Barbarian, closest thing to viking I can get. I like vikings. SUE ME! Basically I rolled a viking great-hammer weilding barbarian. Main disadvantage with Barbarians is that, despite my character knowing three languages, he is ILLITERATE! Yes, he cannot read or write. So of course I need to get worked into the campaign (which is drop-in) and so it turns out, we were in a prison! I'm running from prisoners, and the main party was fighting them. I was doing surprisingly well upon sustaining low HP and crappy rolls (including a critical fumble) but I managed to survive for a little while. Eventually I was knocked unconsious but I levelled up at the end of it! Somehow, when I woke up, my character could READ!!! READ!!! OH GLORIOUS DAY!!! I also went on to demolish a minotaur with a newly acquired great-hammer. yeah, He's a fucking barbarian. He's ROTH!!! Thank you Kayli, Graham, and KJ for making this incredibly awesome. YOU'RE DOIN GREAT!!!

There was also free lazer tag, which was glorious and awesome. Thanks to my good friend Jenna who I hung out with for a good chunk of the trip as well. You are awesome, and thank you for the free two games! We brought our lightsabers for a good part of it and, while not using them on the inside, it was still fun showing Chelsea and joking aroudn with them. There were no severed limbs. I'm a Jedi Knight! I'm better than this! Epic drinking night with Jenna, Mike, KJ, and Jennas friends followed. Three Beers, two shots, and one hilarious night of laughter and storytelling. Needless to say, Probably some of the best 4 days ever!

When I got back, of course I had my sister's barbecue on friday. Sadly for that, most people bailed (the fuckers) and it ended up being three of us. Even still, BEST BIG BANG THEORY DRINKING GAME EVER!!! Ten beers, one boilermaker, Bra-Man's heroic encounter with the fiend named Joel, and a giant walk to the mall later, I was one very drunk person. Needless to say, epic hilarity ensued.

The next day was Infernal Majesty featuring George Corpsegrinder on vocals. It was my first experience at the rickshaw theatre in downtown van, on the east side, at night. Lots of homeless insane people, but the show itself and the theatre atmosphere was actually really epic and entertaining. I went with Wayne and Mose from work, and of course met up with some of their buddies and cabbed it to the rickshaw. Corpsegrinder didn't actualyl come out till about the third song and he appeared to get pissed from sound issues, which was somewhat horrid but hey, the show was still great. Mose attacked an asshole in the pit with an elbow toward his throat cause he was pushing people on the outer edge of the pit, so mose had something to say about that and stepped up. Good on him! Otherwise, it was absolutely frigging epic! As good as Slayer or Amon Amarth? No... but that's another story...

I'm entirely looking forward to Arch Enemy come Sept 22nd.

That was simply one week, the rest was... well ok uneventful. Needless to say, I conquered the bitch that is life for one week, but now I need to conquer the bitch that is debt. Makes me so mad I wanna choke a bitch!

Stay thirsty my friends.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Red Alert

You try not doing the same thing day in and day out and not thinking "is this it? Or was I supposed to do something more?"

If you've watched the newest Star Trek movie, remember the scene when Captain Pike was talking to Kirk in the bar? When he says to him "are you content with being the only Genius level repeat-offender in the midwest? Or do you feel like you were meant for something greater?"

Well, that's kind of how I feel...well ok I'm not a repeat offender, at least I don't think so...

Perhaps ultimately that's all I seek and desire, is a change in life or a pathway to what I was destined to be. I am starting Audio Engineering school in October, but is that enough? What if is a dangerous question, but it has crossed my mind and messed up it's wiring. What if I don't find what I'm looking for after my 9 months is over? What then? It's a hard industry to break into. I want to be able to find a team of musicians and get a band together, but I really don't know how to go about that. Mind you one of the new seasonals at work, who works meat department, also plays guitar. So maybe...

Either way, I know I'm young and I will spin my wheels and flounder and nothing will get done, however I'd rather not do this too much. I'm almost 22 years old and I feel I have no major accomplishments in life, aside from spending 2 months in Europe. Even then I feel I didn't make the most out of the trip, as amazing as it was.

I feel as if I've spent too much time as a pissant doing the same thing, but it's a wise occupation to keep while I am in school. I started school doing a history major, switched to sociology, but then right afterwards, switched to Audio Engineering. I love music, so I wanted to be in a field where I could be close to the music industry, even if I'm not the one performing. I'd rather be performing, but there's complications with that too.

Breaking into the recording industry is just as hard as breaking in as an artist. You have to go long periods and shell out dedicated effort while bringing in little income and hope for a decent break. It's a lifestyle, not a job. One I would certainly like to be a part of, however I question whether or not I have what it takes. Am I ready for this? Who is ever ready to do what needs to be done? No one is born ready. You just have to take life by the horns. If you can't dodge it, ram it.

Just as the hero is forced to start his quest to defeat evil, evil is waiting for him, watching him. The hero is weak, but must develop and grow. Without growth he cannot face evil, and he must disccover himself and fight his own inner demons as well. Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

While I have no idea what it is I have to do, that's just part of the discovery of life. Unfortunately my uncertainty has a habit of pissing people off, which really doesn't help me in the slightest and keeps making me feel I'm doing it wrong. A friend of mine was talking to me last night, and he is telling me that failure and success are relative designations. Success is short lived in the greater acquisition of power, the more you grow the more that you will fail and succeed. It's wonderful to be able to do something, but eventually you want to do it better. Every success renders the former success as a greater failure. I simply have a habit of punishing myself for failure, which adds to the anxiety and simply hurts me, nothing gets done. Rather than punishing myself, I need to look upon failure as learning and don't punish myself, but encourage. It's a tough habit to break, but keeping your eyes open and being extremely sensitive at all times is a healthy habit. In the end, failure becomes more important than success, because it's the other side to the coin. It's progress, and failure and success are like bitter rivals that are also lovers. Balance, trying to be better than the other, but cannot live without each other.

I need to be harder on myself, but in the right ways, enouraging myself to learn, not punishing myself for failing. It's a tough habit to break, considering I feel I've always been punished for failing. The world expects you to succeed the first time. But that's partly due to the society of instant gratification... And a whole other debate.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Viking Metal!!!

Again, no comic, just awesome.

Thursday night, the very next night after I went and saw Slayer in concert, on a spur of the moment decision, likely due to my friends and guitar teacher convincing me, I went in and saw Amon Amarth at the commodore ballroom. Seriously, this was the absolute best fucking onslaught of viking metal I've ever seen!!! They had no opening band, so it was a clear two and a half hours of nothing but fist pounding, beer drinking, awesome death metal. They hit the stage at 9:30, played 10 songs, went on a break, and then 15-20 mins later came back with an epic onslaught of more awesome metal. They failed to disappoint. True I hadn't heard anything from them, well, ever, but fuck, I absolutely LOVE Viking Metal.

Which makes me reiterate one of my life goals, well actually 2. One is to go and see Wacken Open Air, a weeklong celebration of Metal in a small town in Germany. Wacken is one of the largest metal festivals in Europe, and many many bands play there. Another one is Roskilde Open Air, in Denmark, much the same as Wacken Open Air. Metal, you loves it, yesssss....

While at the Commodore last night, I met up with my guitar teacher, her boyfriend, and a couple of their friends and hung out all throughout the second set. By the end of it I was dog fucking tired, but Jesus christ was this band made of pure awesome! It puts me back in touch with my Viking roots and, oddly enough, I feel somehow spiritually connected with music like this, mainly because my ancestors on my Mother's side hail from Denmark and Norway. Plus, it really does also help that I'm the son of Thor, when there's music written about the exploits of my Father...yeah, you know it's fucking awesome.

Metal is by far the best genre out there. Because it's Metal. There is NO OTHER REASON THAT IS NEEDED TO EXPLAIN THIS!

That sounds better with the death growl...

I need to practice more guitar.

Amon Amarth, you will loves them.

Sidenote: watch out for people with silver tongues.

Thursday, August 4, 2011


Yesterday, I experienced something, something that totally transcends any level of time and space.

Yes, I'm talking about metal.

Yesterday, I went and saw the most epic concert I have been to to date. Slayer and Rob Zombie, with Exodus as the opening act.

Me and three buddies, would have been four if my friend hadn't have broken his foot the day before and rendered him unable to come to the concert, leaving me with a ticket that I could not unload, probably had the most fun that is allowed at any one of these venues. We, admittingly, didn't care for exodus as an opener, and actually showed up halfway through Rob Zombie's set because, let's face it, we just wanted to get slayed (no, not slain, slayed.) I personally saw the last half of Rob Zombie's set, and I admit, what I was was pretty freaking intense. Seeing rob zombie's band wearing nothing but canadian flags as clothing was epic, and his guitarist almost made me orgasm with his flurry of sweep picking arpeggios. FUCKING KILLER!!!

But, like I said, we wanted to see Slayer. I actually missed a golden chance to meet the band Infernal Majesty and Corpsegrinder, the lead singer of Cannibal Corpse. Two of my buddies did, because they were able to get into the beer gardens fast. By the time me and my friend Mose were done at the merch booth, the beer garden line was 20 miles long so we decided it was better to just wait, little did we know... Fucking PISSED that I missed that, but hey, I may have to go see Infernal Majesty on the 20th of this month.

Either way, the setlist Slayer put out was absolutely fucking perfect. For the most of the show, I stayed in one place and headbanged, absorbed, air guitared, and watched the awesomeness. I was about 60 feet from the band at first. I don't think I've ever seen a more perfect band on stage. Musically speaking, they were there, always. Timing was perfect, everything just worked, the sound was absolutely incredible, from Tom's soaring vocals and killer bass riffs to Dave Lombardo's perfect double kick drums. Every bass beat I could feel the intensity making me it's bitch and slapping me around, demanding that I love this. Little did it know I already did. Kerry King's guitars were absolutely fucking incredible, and although he wasn't wearing his signature spiked bracelet, it's understandable because he needs to keep the intensity in his playing, and having that weigh you down is death to a guitarist. As soon as the encore's came on, my buddy Mose was all "dude, wanna come to the mosh pit?" He had already been once, but me, honestly...I was hesitant, but I embraced that fucker like it was MY bitch. I said HELL FUCKIGN YES and away I went. Never have I had so much goddamn fun! Pushing and shoving and running around and charging at things, it was absolutely incredible! Even more incredible was the fact that whenever someone fell down, everyone was protecting him and helping the guy back up! Everyone's there just for a good time, no one wants to see anyone hurt. But at one point I looked up and realized, the band is 10 feet in front of me! I stared, and gazed in absolute incredible awe. I just could not fucking believe the levels of awesome that I was experiencing. That was the closest I'd ever been to a band. I got slayed, hard. And I'd go back for more.

It was my first ever Slayer concert, and a disappointment, it absolutely was not. Far from. It was glorious! Epic fucking win! The levels of extreme intensity grabbed my by the balls and shocked me with absolutly no mercy, no remorse, and having no fear. Metal, I AM IN YOU!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Star Wars, Feminism, The National Policy, Girls, Music, and other things discussed on drinking nights

In short, that's me when I try and talk to girls, which came up in conversation.

But does the title not say it all? No joke I maxxed out the cap for characters in the title. But that's cause when I get together with some close friends of mine, one of which I've known since high school, many universe changing things take effect. The last time somethign this epic took place, well, sorry Japan... I really mean it... So sorry...

Picture a crazy rock/metal musician with an opinion about everything (me), a skinny pastey controversial guy with an ego the size of mount Doom (not a bad thing if you know him!), a quiet but oddly opinionated thoughtful aspiring chef with a unique sense of timing, and a girl who doesn't know us too well but is somehow entertained. Does hilarity not ensue? That /almost/ could be a sitcom, but it's really hard describing my friends because they're so much more than that.

Basically however, myself and my freind Adam (the skinny guy) were somehow able to get Leanne (the girl) interested in history and sociology because we simply went on tyrades and tangents about the state of the world and why it is the way it is. It started off harmless enough with talking about, actually fuck if I remember what we were talking about to start, but it evolved into: The problems with Canada can all be blamed on Brian Mulroney cancelling the National Policy and signing the first Canada-US free trade agreement; the social issues of why women will hide behind the term of feminism simply because they want to hate men and not be equals in society, then demand they be treated with noble intentions and lavished with gifts; why a lot of music nowadays absolutely fucking sucks becase of auto-tune and over-engineering, jon-bon jovi ruining music, madonna helping, michael jackson putting the final bullet into it and britney spears making sure that horse stays dead; why I overthink shit and have a hard time reading women and dating in general; and why beer is awesome.

I have a tendancy, by myself, to go on long tyrades and rants about things that I have opinions on and am very passionate about. I care about the world, and I hate seeing it go to shit simply because some people want to benefit due to their feeling entitled to their profits, justifying it with working hard; hard at stepping on others and stealing from them and bleeding the world dry. Makes PERFECT sense to me. Wall street bailout? 700 billion, yet we won't take 3 billion to feed people in Africa or Asia and empower them to be self sfficient in smaller communities. I'll stop now...

But when you get me and Adam together, the world shakes and starts to pound with shattering smouldering intensity it may as well summon the four horsemen of the apocolypse. Rants and passionate tangents intensify, and, yeah, we've fucking scared people at malls and in cars next to us. I kid you not. Yes our live show is better, plus it's really hard to blog about.

However, our opinion on the state of girls in the dating world reflects this vlog by Jenna: Seriosuly this girl is fucking awesome! I want to meet her, shake her hand, take her to coffee, debate and rant, okay fuck it. You get the idea.

Eventually, as always happens with us, we decide to fuck the real world and talk about nothing other than Star Wars. Which, is oddly reflective of our real world and you have to admit it, but it's simply because we're uber nerds and well, we want to feel like we've accomplished something.

Let's face it, we don't like looking inside ourselves, because we see that little girl with the wet black hair huddled in a corner crying while wearing a straight-jacket, saying "maybe nothing really matters..." That's why I drink and play videogames. Works for me.

If it wasn't 2:30 AM, I'd be playing metal right now...

Sunday, July 31, 2011

The Social Game

People really are so gorram complicated it's jsu tnot funny. It is entirely unfathomable to me why people will put up so many barriers and make others jump through so many hoops just to even be called "friend." Ok, yes, true enough there's that one guy that ruined it for you, but being guarded is one thing, being a manipulator is another.

A close friend of mine simply said to me today "It's all a game really..." and of course, I was perplexed. We were talking about Captain America and I said if I ever had the chance I'd totally throw it into the actress who played Peggy, the English officer who was assigned to the project. Her name is Hayley Atwell btw, amazing woman, but I dared my friend to watch the movie and not say the same. He said to me "it's all a game really..." and my first thought was "life? sex?" wo which he replied "just the whole social thing."

People will consistently make you go through shit and jump through hoops, some more than others, before you even think about getting personal with them, relationship or otherwise. I suppose this has many reasons, but to some people, like myself, who are socially retarded, think of it this way: You are a level 1 character who is thrust into a world where you need to survive among characters who are currently level 35 or higher, who have pillaged, run many dungeons, worked hard and obtained the best gear for their level all far more than you can possibly, or care to, imagine. Reality check: There are no giant rats to fight to level up in this storyline. Instead, your best hope is finding a group that'll take you into your party and show you the ropes and run you through a couple times. For the most part this is possible, however many groups are different than others.

 All you can really do is throw your dice and hope and pray you come out lucky. Just be sure that you are the one holding your dice. Never trust them to someone else, and hope and pray that the boss your facing throws a shit roll and you gain ultimate victory, pillage the loot, and walk away with confidence and pride. It's a lot of hoping and praying at first, but nothing is gained skillwise without a lot of work and a little bit of luck. Just dance in front of the mighty bronze turtle and pray that you enver encounter a wolverine named Phallus... because you know there's a reason he's named that.

Keep your Bacon hot, your Ammo cold and plentiful, and clutch onto your dice for dear life. Be the master of your own destiny.

Friday, July 29, 2011

My life in Metal

Links are now clickable! I don't know why I didn't fiddle aroudn with this more. I'm retarded.

Metal has always been a very, very controversial music to most people. After watching "A Headbanger's Journey" once again, I've decided to talk to you all about my personal reasons as to why I Identify with this style of music.

But first, a brief clarification: Metal isn't all guttoral screaming, rough harsh vocals, uber fast guitar, satanic, or crazy stupid unsophisticated music for unsophisticated people. Sure there is some that is satanic, screaming guttoral vocals, and unsophisticated, but that's where personal taste comes in. Most of the satanic metal originates in the Norwegian Black Metal genre, and I stay away from that stuff. Never could get into it, never wanted to.

Metal is in fact, a very broad genre that's been around sicne the days of psychadelic rock in the late 60's with bands liek Blue Cheer, Cream, and furthering in bands like Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple and Black Sabbath. It holds its roots firmly in Classical and Blues, and will remain ever true to them. From roots in psychadelic rock, Original Hard Rock, Early Punk, Shock Rock, and British style Blues, came Metal as a full fledged genre. Many subgenres have emerged through the flames, each with their own distinct sound and style. The rest is history my friend.

For me however, Metal represents something. I admit, at first I was scared of losing my shit because I just didn't know! Metal had this cloud of stereotype around it, but I soon discovered it was so much more. In high school I was obsessed with bands like AC/DC, Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Eric Clapton/Cream (and I still actively listen to them, great music), but in grade 10 I picked up my first guitar. I had the intention of listening to and playing songs I liked (who doesnt?) but living in a small town such as Rock Creek, the closest music store was in Kelowna, an hour and a half away, and I didn't drive. Only dial-up internet existed so torrenting was out. Though soon enough, I bought Megadeth's "Greatest Hits: back to the start" and my world changed. I discovered Thrash Metal. Ok sure I'd listened to and heard Metallica, but one band isn't enough for a full taste. It's like only ever driving a Ford Pinto and claiming you know what it's like to drive a Shelby Cobra. IT AIN'T RIGHT!!! But then it was born. Somehow, the guitars, the vocals, the drums, it all spoke to me on some spiritual level. The music took me in, made me it's apprentice, and trained me in it's way.

Music is subjective, but it spoke to my interests and views. It seemed to come from the same sheltered history that I did, and understood my thoughts and desires better than anyone did. I got along with my parents, but there's conflicting interests. I wanted to be a guitar player, they wanted different. The music was there for me during a lot of dark times and dark thoughts. It didn't encourage it, it jsut said "hey man, I understand." From Megadeth, Black Sabbath, and Deep Purple I discovered Ozzy's Solo Career, Iron Maiden, Motorhead, Judas Priest, and so on. After Graduating high school I started training myself to have a blues foundation on Guitar, and that's what kicked me off. However when I moved out to Kelowna from Vancovuer, the roomates I lived with opened me up to a greater world of Metal. Power Metal, Modern Thrash, Viking Metal, Symphonic Power Metal, all of it seemed to echo what I had been feelign all along. I craved a desire to be unique and different from the mainstream, and although I'm a small part of a large force, it's not a force that demands you to be sheep. I have opinions, I think about shit before I form opinions, I don't reiterate, I'm passionate about certain things, I get angry at issues, but don't beleive in taking it out on individuals, and I'm a brother to those close to me. The music doesn't alienate me, it encourages me to be who I am, regardless of who that is. It respects me for it. It teaches me to be decisive, confident but not arrogant, understanding, respectful, but also strong in will and open but firm in belief.. It was there for me when going through tough shit in high school, when I was trying to decide on a career, when no one else seemed it understand what I was trying to get across tot hem, and it understood my unique history as an individual. It doesn't tell me I'm weird or different, it just tells me I'm my own person and I respect that. Since then I've taken metal guitar lessons and routinely play metal/rock/blues music on my guitar for the sake of it. It's an energy release, but it's a technical challenge. I like challenges.

You understand that I won't talk about the exact shit I went through. It's jsut rather not spread personal stories over the internet jsut yet. Not until I know exactly who's reading this.

I was thuroughly sad when Ronnie James Dio died. I still salute him every day. I wake up int he morning and I have metal playing on my computer first thing. It's a good wake up. If I've had a bad day, it's there, if I've had a great day, it's all like FUCK YEAH ROCK THAT BITCH. I live in Vancouver now, again, and hey, if any of you know any musicians int he area that can use a jam buddy, I'm in!

There is more to my interests and music than metal, but this is the genre I always come back to (that and Classic Rock) because it's reliable and I'm ever loyal.

It confronted some of the things I feared most, and encouraged me to battle through them. I'm a better person for it. I've helped my friends do the same, but it's nice that something is there for you too. Not saying my friends aren't, but the soul needs to be fed too, without soul, you're emotionally dead and look for gratification instead of working for happiness.

Now as a final fuck you to anyone who may want to shit on my day: \m/

Thursday, July 28, 2011


Okay, yes, so the comic is directed at Audi, but hey, the principle is still the same.

I do quite thuroughly understand that my last blog post was  filled with ramblings and inscessant jabber, so today I will do my absolute best to keep you captivated and prove that my blog isn't just for insomniacs.

I voted to extinguish the HST. This tax saw a shift from the old GST/PST system, GST being the federal tax at 5% and the PST being the provincial tax at 7%. Before the HST was introduced, fusing the two, food, restaurants, hotels, and other things were only taxed at 5%. The Provincial Government, without warning, changed the system and all things that were previously exempt from the PST were now taxed at the usual rate of 12%. In a nutshell it was supposed to save businesses a huge portion on administrative costs and pass the savings onto the consumer, or use that savings to hire more people, but it seemed more apparant that most businesses were rewarding themselves with bonuses instead of hiring. Unemployment slowly went up and there seemed to be bitter resentment. I voted to extinguish it because The Federal government collected all the HST revenue, then distributed it to the provinces. Why should the provinces have to ask for money to spend on programs they are responsible for, such as Healthcare and Education when they had a PST to collect the revenue themselves. Made no sense.

Either way, we Candians are a fucking weird people. We honestly get riled up about Tariffs and Taxes, not because we don't like paying them (which some don't, don't get me wrong) but because we simply like knowing what our government is doing with the money. If they promise healthcare or education or defense or what have you, we tend to be ok with it. We're not about to talk about how our government should privatize everything, or cut corporate taxes to create jobs, or if we should bomb some country because they had the balls to fight and elect a leader! No, we're not like that. I mean come on, we're fucking Canada! We watch hockey, apologize to random people because, hey, we feel for you, bitch about softwood lumber and lack of tariffs, and revel in our world and WHO acclaimed healthcare system.

Seemed odd to add all of that in there, I know, but to my readers in the UK and other parts of the world, it should give you a taste of why we Canadians fucking rule, or at least what we actually do when we drink beer and chop down trees.

But hey, all stuff about how wonderful Canada is aside, my day was fairly uneventful, until about 5 PM. I ask you this: When faced with a challenging, potentially daunting hopeless task of deciding how and when it is time for you to face the music, put the boss key into the door, and stare down Ganondorf in an all guts or no glory-esque get the fucking chills right? That was me today, when faced with the possibiliy that, in roughly a year, I may be the proud owner of a Dodge Challenger. Today, at 5PM, I test drove one for 15 minutes and holy fuck did that thing grab me by the balls and beat me so fucking senseless that when I was done my only possible response was to crawl with my one working arm and beg the car to let me go. It was fucking amazing! Obviously I do not have the money for it now, but come July 4th I'll be a certified Audio Engineer, hopefully with a decent job lined up. If so, CHALLENGER YOU ARE FUCKING MINE! Will there be many episodes of me routinely falling in front of the car screaming "I'M NOT WORTHY!"? Hell yes. Will there be a lot of drinking in celebreation? Let's just say I know a guy who can get a lot of good whiskey...

Sadly that's my Dilemma, wait a year for what I want, or not go with it at all. It has become a goal, a challenge if you will. I like Challenges. Audio Engineering and finding a music job will be a Challenge, so will owning this car. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Rather... CHALLENGER ACCEPTED!!!

Shit... I think Sub Zero jsut entered my room... not again.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

A Turning Point

To follow the same tradition I used for my blogs in livejournal, I'm going to find a webcomic that reflects well what I'm going to be talking about here

Expect a lot of XKCD.

So I picked this comic because, well, jsut last night I came into a questioning phase, a phase wherein I suffered an existential crisis. Remember when I talked about what I was going to talk about? I know I know I promised you a little about me, and believe me I'll get to that, but first this. Basically I questioned of myself am I actually living, or jsut simply alive? My friend Adam once proposed to me a question very similar, but in videogame terminology. The question carried on as "Do you feel you are going through life on the main quest and advancing to level 40 before you assault the boss? Or are you jsut putzing around doing a bunch of side quests unrelated to the story and you're still level 3?" He was playing a lot of Oblivion at the time and, my understanding anyways, in Oblivion you don't level up unless you do main story quests. Either way it was a profound question, and honestly I had difficulty answering it. I still do. Yes the point of life is to progress and advance yourself, to exist, and to do what is best for you and further your goals and desires so you achieve what you set out to do, but no matter how driven and goal-oriented one is, it is always wise to slow down and smell the roses. The big end boss of life is one no one has yet to conquer (except maybe Jesus, if you're keen on that faith, hard to say for me really) is Death. It is a natural part of life and the very thing that makes us appreciate it, so why try and arrive at the destination sooner? I find myself I'm more about putzing around at level 3 doing everything I can because, even if it's unrelated to what you want to do, experience is experience and everyone should be a teacher, because we can learn and further from each other.

My crisis was simple, what am I actually doing with my life and myself? I felt dead, and unmotivated. A long talk with a good friend of mine on World of Warcraft quickly set me straight. The real reason I felt dead was simple: I felt as if I needed to be loved by someone in relationship form to feel needed and valued, when in truth I should and do feel that way already. Sure it's always nice to have someone, it is what makes us truly whole, but we don't need to actively seek that one person, things will usually fall into place if you let them happen. I'm onyl 21, and shouldn't be worrying about those things. I have bigger fish to fry, I ahve  amain quest to trudge through! Though it brought up another reason why I felt dead. I'm my own person, and I live with my parents. I feel I need my own space, however I currently have little means to do so. School combined with current expenses leaves me drained, and I haven't a viable roomate as of yet. True currently the pros outweigh the cons, but I often feel I'm a disappointment, which of course isn't at all true, though I'm consistently in a state of self scrutiny and critisism in every aspect of my life. I feel it's the only way I improve, which is great for me, being a guitar player, to scrutinize my artistic ability, but for EVERY aspect, it ends up leaving me worried about shit I have no business worry about. That'll just shorten life! I've honestly been better than I was, but last night was, different. I guess I'm jsut trying to find my own little niche in this world and I'd rather not force anyone out of theirs, instead peacefully coexisting. But I'm going to rub elbows, conflict is a part of life. Question therefore becomes how will I handle it? Needless to say I solved my crisis, my solution was simply don't change who I am for anyone, don't compromise the aspects about me that make me who I am. In that I gain confidence, I gain pride, I gain a sense of direction and motivation, and I gain inspiration.

So in short, existential crisis was simple: If What I'm to have learn was what I already knew, did I learn anything? Yes I did, because my purpose was to set out learning something that ended up coming back to  what I already knew, I had simply forgotten at the time. The purpose of learning is to learn!

Anyways, as promised, a little about me: If you're asleep or have closed the webpage by now, well I can't say I'm surprised. if you're still reading, you either have insomnia or actually consider this waste of webspace drabble and shit interesting.

I'm 21 years old, been walking this earth for almost 22 winters now.
I have Nordic descent and blood in me, mostly Danish, but also Norwegian. English, Scottish, French, Welsh, Italian, Polish, Swiss, German, and probably a few I'm forgetting. Danish/Norwegian genes won out over everything, so thus, VIKINGS RULE!
Speaking of which, I am the son of Thor. It is acceptable if you just call me Thor.
I play guitar, have been for 7 years now. Yes, Thor weilds an axe. I lost my hammer... somewhere in Asgard. If you find it please call me.
I own three guitars, some say too many, none of them are guitar players. I have a Jay Turser SG, Fender HSS Stratocaster, and a Jackson King V Demmelition.
I play mostly Metal and Rock styles, but I love playing blues too. Always learning.
I'm currently drinking Sleeman Honey Brown Lager.
I'm an avid Vancovuer Canucks fan. That isn't going to change. Don't try and make it Change.
I'm a huge fan of music. GOOD Music. I know Music is a very subjective Genre but really, there is universally bad music out there. I will go on rants about this. My Top 3 genres are Metal, Classic Rock and Blues. Will venture into Modern rock, and depending on the day, the order of those genres change. Do not like Country or Hip Hop, some Pop is tolerable but most often annoying as hell. Some days I wish I owned a shotgun.
I love movies of most sorts, save Horror. Do not like horror. Never could get into it. Overactive imagination.
I rant a lot. You'll find this possibly amusing.
I am currently single. Not sure when that'll change, but it'll change for the right reason.
I tend to write a lot...just incase you didn't notice.
Religion? Curious subject, interesting theology and morality, questionable practices.
I'm currently studying, or rather will be studying, to be an Audio Engineer. Yes, I'm going to record shit. Good shit.
I'm a very open person, I like to joke around and skirt the bounds of what is and isn't appropriate. Usually makes people laugh, but I also say sorry for a lot of things.
I also tend to think too much, incase you didn't notice above...
Above all I am a paladin. What I mean by that is I'm a great shield. I stand up for my friends and would rather take a thousand hits than see any one of my friends take one. I'm a protector and a guardian, teaching others, making sure things are safe, posess righteous anger (hence the ranting...) and I do my best to do what I feel is right. So, don't make me angry or pissed. A pissed off Thor is a Thor you don't want to have to deal with.
I have a superhero Alias: Bra-Man (ok fine, it was kind of stolen from Least I Could Do but hey, I didn't see Rayne Summers at any one of my epic parties!)
I'm also known by: Sploch, Captain Irrelevant, Rothgan (or Rotharia on WoW)
Politically speaking I am small c conservative. That means I see society as a connected web where all levels are equally as important and what happens to one will undoubtedly affect the other. There is no separation, in fact it's a ripple and a wave. So I vote based upon who I feel is best reflective of this philosophy. Symbiotic bonding!
Honestly speaking, I'm a huge geek. Sci-Fi, Comic books, you name it. Not only am I Thor's son, but I'm a Jedi Guardian as well. Along with being a Paladin, I cannot stand for injustice and I admire Truth, Honesty, Understanding and Compassion. I consider Star wars (episodes IV, V, VI) to be among the best movies ever made. Geeks fuckign rule, and we are some of the smartest people you'll ever meet. That's why I think too much and admire little shit that most would ignore. Geeks are awesome, and we fucking rule. I'm among the ruling class, mainly BECAUSE I rule.

If you've read all that...actually I haven't thought of an award for you. Perhaps a hug when I see you next? Man hugs are acceptable. Either way, that's my past two days in a nutshell. If anyone finds this either have respect for me, like me, love me, or have nothing better to do. :)

Adios, until next blog.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


Just to let you all know this is my new blog. I won't be posting on Livejournal anymore because, well, You kinda have to sign up to livejournal to read my blog and no one really wants to do that.

Here I'll be sharing with you some of my thoughts, experiences, memories, musings, music, dillemas, crises, failures, and successes. If any of you wish to read into them (yes, I'll make them interesting) then join me as I grind my axe, sharpen my sword, and hack and slash my way through reality, life, and conquer your hearts.

Whatever happens, I'll post it here. Probably starting my next post with a little about me (probably to follow later tonight). I'll post this shit on facebook for anyone who decides to read it. I know there'as  alot of you who talk to me but don't entirely know who I am just yet. In truth, I really don't know how to answer that question because I'm still making those discoveries myself, but come with me and perhaps I will share my discoveries with you, and yours with me. After all, we may all be in this together, but our own experiences are unique to ourselves. Just cause we're all in the same boat doesn't mean we all see the same killer whale. We're jsut all trudging and smashign our way through life as best as we know how to, and hey, sure we all arrive at the same destination, it's the gorram journey that makes it interesting.

Come, and I will unlock for you my secrets to Life, metal, and the universe.