Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Souls of the Damned

The sad part is this is true!

In this time I've realized I've gone roughly two weeks without blogging. Possibly more? either way... UNACCEPTABLE!!! Needless to say I have been busy. 4 days in kelowna, 3 weeks of working, 2 days of torrenting the internet, and one response on Plenty of fish, plus one metal show.

Woah wait a sec, yes okay, commence your laughter. I started up a POF account again, just to see what's out there. So far I've yielded one response, however that one response has turned out to be awesome. Really, is that not all it takes? Looking forward to coffee.

About two weeks ago I went up to kelowna for only 4 days on a week of paid vacation. Saw some friends but of course not as many as I'd have liked to see. There's never enough time!!! However, epic shennanigans did in fact arise as I was invited to Play Dungeons and Dragons with friends. +10 to tomfoolery! (see Entry for Wed Aug 17th 2011, it will update.)

Given it was my first time playing DnD in a very long time, of course I had to reroll another character. So I decided to roll Thor. Well ok actually the closest thign to thor, a viking barbarian, well ok technically Uthgardt (pronounced Oath-Guard) Barbarian, closest thing to viking I can get. I like vikings. SUE ME! Basically I rolled a viking great-hammer weilding barbarian. Main disadvantage with Barbarians is that, despite my character knowing three languages, he is ILLITERATE! Yes, he cannot read or write. So of course I need to get worked into the campaign (which is drop-in) and so it turns out, we were in a prison! I'm running from prisoners, and the main party was fighting them. I was doing surprisingly well upon sustaining low HP and crappy rolls (including a critical fumble) but I managed to survive for a little while. Eventually I was knocked unconsious but I levelled up at the end of it! Somehow, when I woke up, my character could READ!!! READ!!! OH GLORIOUS DAY!!! I also went on to demolish a minotaur with a newly acquired great-hammer. yeah, He's a fucking barbarian. He's ROTH!!! Thank you Kayli, Graham, and KJ for making this incredibly awesome. YOU'RE DOIN GREAT!!!

There was also free lazer tag, which was glorious and awesome. Thanks to my good friend Jenna who I hung out with for a good chunk of the trip as well. You are awesome, and thank you for the free two games! We brought our lightsabers for a good part of it and, while not using them on the inside, it was still fun showing Chelsea and joking aroudn with them. There were no severed limbs. I'm a Jedi Knight! I'm better than this! Epic drinking night with Jenna, Mike, KJ, and Jennas friends followed. Three Beers, two shots, and one hilarious night of laughter and storytelling. Needless to say, Probably some of the best 4 days ever!

When I got back, of course I had my sister's barbecue on friday. Sadly for that, most people bailed (the fuckers) and it ended up being three of us. Even still, BEST BIG BANG THEORY DRINKING GAME EVER!!! Ten beers, one boilermaker, Bra-Man's heroic encounter with the fiend named Joel, and a giant walk to the mall later, I was one very drunk person. Needless to say, epic hilarity ensued.

The next day was Infernal Majesty featuring George Corpsegrinder on vocals. It was my first experience at the rickshaw theatre in downtown van, on the east side, at night. Lots of homeless insane people, but the show itself and the theatre atmosphere was actually really epic and entertaining. I went with Wayne and Mose from work, and of course met up with some of their buddies and cabbed it to the rickshaw. Corpsegrinder didn't actualyl come out till about the third song and he appeared to get pissed from sound issues, which was somewhat horrid but hey, the show was still great. Mose attacked an asshole in the pit with an elbow toward his throat cause he was pushing people on the outer edge of the pit, so mose had something to say about that and stepped up. Good on him! Otherwise, it was absolutely frigging epic! As good as Slayer or Amon Amarth? No... but that's another story...

I'm entirely looking forward to Arch Enemy come Sept 22nd.

That was simply one week, the rest was... well ok uneventful. Needless to say, I conquered the bitch that is life for one week, but now I need to conquer the bitch that is debt. Makes me so mad I wanna choke a bitch!

Stay thirsty my friends.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Red Alert

You try not doing the same thing day in and day out and not thinking "is this it? Or was I supposed to do something more?"

If you've watched the newest Star Trek movie, remember the scene when Captain Pike was talking to Kirk in the bar? When he says to him "are you content with being the only Genius level repeat-offender in the midwest? Or do you feel like you were meant for something greater?"

Well, that's kind of how I feel...well ok I'm not a repeat offender, at least I don't think so...

Perhaps ultimately that's all I seek and desire, is a change in life or a pathway to what I was destined to be. I am starting Audio Engineering school in October, but is that enough? What if is a dangerous question, but it has crossed my mind and messed up it's wiring. What if I don't find what I'm looking for after my 9 months is over? What then? It's a hard industry to break into. I want to be able to find a team of musicians and get a band together, but I really don't know how to go about that. Mind you one of the new seasonals at work, who works meat department, also plays guitar. So maybe...

Either way, I know I'm young and I will spin my wheels and flounder and nothing will get done, however I'd rather not do this too much. I'm almost 22 years old and I feel I have no major accomplishments in life, aside from spending 2 months in Europe. Even then I feel I didn't make the most out of the trip, as amazing as it was.

I feel as if I've spent too much time as a pissant doing the same thing, but it's a wise occupation to keep while I am in school. I started school doing a history major, switched to sociology, but then right afterwards, switched to Audio Engineering. I love music, so I wanted to be in a field where I could be close to the music industry, even if I'm not the one performing. I'd rather be performing, but there's complications with that too.

Breaking into the recording industry is just as hard as breaking in as an artist. You have to go long periods and shell out dedicated effort while bringing in little income and hope for a decent break. It's a lifestyle, not a job. One I would certainly like to be a part of, however I question whether or not I have what it takes. Am I ready for this? Who is ever ready to do what needs to be done? No one is born ready. You just have to take life by the horns. If you can't dodge it, ram it.

Just as the hero is forced to start his quest to defeat evil, evil is waiting for him, watching him. The hero is weak, but must develop and grow. Without growth he cannot face evil, and he must disccover himself and fight his own inner demons as well. Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

While I have no idea what it is I have to do, that's just part of the discovery of life. Unfortunately my uncertainty has a habit of pissing people off, which really doesn't help me in the slightest and keeps making me feel I'm doing it wrong. A friend of mine was talking to me last night, and he is telling me that failure and success are relative designations. Success is short lived in the greater acquisition of power, the more you grow the more that you will fail and succeed. It's wonderful to be able to do something, but eventually you want to do it better. Every success renders the former success as a greater failure. I simply have a habit of punishing myself for failure, which adds to the anxiety and simply hurts me, nothing gets done. Rather than punishing myself, I need to look upon failure as learning and don't punish myself, but encourage. It's a tough habit to break, but keeping your eyes open and being extremely sensitive at all times is a healthy habit. In the end, failure becomes more important than success, because it's the other side to the coin. It's progress, and failure and success are like bitter rivals that are also lovers. Balance, trying to be better than the other, but cannot live without each other.

I need to be harder on myself, but in the right ways, enouraging myself to learn, not punishing myself for failing. It's a tough habit to break, considering I feel I've always been punished for failing. The world expects you to succeed the first time. But that's partly due to the society of instant gratification... And a whole other debate.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Viking Metal!!!

Again, no comic, just awesome.

Thursday night, the very next night after I went and saw Slayer in concert, on a spur of the moment decision, likely due to my friends and guitar teacher convincing me, I went in and saw Amon Amarth at the commodore ballroom. Seriously, this was the absolute best fucking onslaught of viking metal I've ever seen!!! They had no opening band, so it was a clear two and a half hours of nothing but fist pounding, beer drinking, awesome death metal. They hit the stage at 9:30, played 10 songs, went on a break, and then 15-20 mins later came back with an epic onslaught of more awesome metal. They failed to disappoint. True I hadn't heard anything from them, well, ever, but fuck, I absolutely LOVE Viking Metal.

Which makes me reiterate one of my life goals, well actually 2. One is to go and see Wacken Open Air, a weeklong celebration of Metal in a small town in Germany. Wacken is one of the largest metal festivals in Europe, and many many bands play there. Another one is Roskilde Open Air, in Denmark, much the same as Wacken Open Air. Metal, you loves it, yesssss....

While at the Commodore last night, I met up with my guitar teacher, her boyfriend, and a couple of their friends and hung out all throughout the second set. By the end of it I was dog fucking tired, but Jesus christ was this band made of pure awesome! It puts me back in touch with my Viking roots and, oddly enough, I feel somehow spiritually connected with music like this, mainly because my ancestors on my Mother's side hail from Denmark and Norway. Plus, it really does also help that I'm the son of Thor, when there's music written about the exploits of my Father...yeah, you know it's fucking awesome.

Metal is by far the best genre out there. Because it's Metal. There is NO OTHER REASON THAT IS NEEDED TO EXPLAIN THIS!

That sounds better with the death growl...

I need to practice more guitar.

Amon Amarth, you will loves them.

Sidenote: watch out for people with silver tongues.

Thursday, August 4, 2011


Yesterday, I experienced something, something that totally transcends any level of time and space.

Yes, I'm talking about metal.

Yesterday, I went and saw the most epic concert I have been to to date. Slayer and Rob Zombie, with Exodus as the opening act.

Me and three buddies, would have been four if my friend hadn't have broken his foot the day before and rendered him unable to come to the concert, leaving me with a ticket that I could not unload, probably had the most fun that is allowed at any one of these venues. We, admittingly, didn't care for exodus as an opener, and actually showed up halfway through Rob Zombie's set because, let's face it, we just wanted to get slayed (no, not slain, slayed.) I personally saw the last half of Rob Zombie's set, and I admit, what I was was pretty freaking intense. Seeing rob zombie's band wearing nothing but canadian flags as clothing was epic, and his guitarist almost made me orgasm with his flurry of sweep picking arpeggios. FUCKING KILLER!!!

But, like I said, we wanted to see Slayer. I actually missed a golden chance to meet the band Infernal Majesty and Corpsegrinder, the lead singer of Cannibal Corpse. Two of my buddies did, because they were able to get into the beer gardens fast. By the time me and my friend Mose were done at the merch booth, the beer garden line was 20 miles long so we decided it was better to just wait, little did we know... Fucking PISSED that I missed that, but hey, I may have to go see Infernal Majesty on the 20th of this month.

Either way, the setlist Slayer put out was absolutely fucking perfect. For the most of the show, I stayed in one place and headbanged, absorbed, air guitared, and watched the awesomeness. I was about 60 feet from the band at first. I don't think I've ever seen a more perfect band on stage. Musically speaking, they were there, always. Timing was perfect, everything just worked, the sound was absolutely incredible, from Tom's soaring vocals and killer bass riffs to Dave Lombardo's perfect double kick drums. Every bass beat I could feel the intensity making me it's bitch and slapping me around, demanding that I love this. Little did it know I already did. Kerry King's guitars were absolutely fucking incredible, and although he wasn't wearing his signature spiked bracelet, it's understandable because he needs to keep the intensity in his playing, and having that weigh you down is death to a guitarist. As soon as the encore's came on, my buddy Mose was all "dude, wanna come to the mosh pit?" He had already been once, but me, honestly...I was hesitant, but I embraced that fucker like it was MY bitch. I said HELL FUCKIGN YES and away I went. Never have I had so much goddamn fun! Pushing and shoving and running around and charging at things, it was absolutely incredible! Even more incredible was the fact that whenever someone fell down, everyone was protecting him and helping the guy back up! Everyone's there just for a good time, no one wants to see anyone hurt. But at one point I looked up and realized, the band is 10 feet in front of me! I stared, and gazed in absolute incredible awe. I just could not fucking believe the levels of awesome that I was experiencing. That was the closest I'd ever been to a band. I got slayed, hard. And I'd go back for more.

It was my first ever Slayer concert, and a disappointment, it absolutely was not. Far from. It was glorious! Epic fucking win! The levels of extreme intensity grabbed my by the balls and shocked me with absolutly no mercy, no remorse, and having no fear. Metal, I AM IN YOU!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Star Wars, Feminism, The National Policy, Girls, Music, and other things discussed on drinking nights

In short, that's me when I try and talk to girls, which came up in conversation.

But does the title not say it all? No joke I maxxed out the cap for characters in the title. But that's cause when I get together with some close friends of mine, one of which I've known since high school, many universe changing things take effect. The last time somethign this epic took place, well, sorry Japan... I really mean it... So sorry...

Picture a crazy rock/metal musician with an opinion about everything (me), a skinny pastey controversial guy with an ego the size of mount Doom (not a bad thing if you know him!), a quiet but oddly opinionated thoughtful aspiring chef with a unique sense of timing, and a girl who doesn't know us too well but is somehow entertained. Does hilarity not ensue? That /almost/ could be a sitcom, but it's really hard describing my friends because they're so much more than that.

Basically however, myself and my freind Adam (the skinny guy) were somehow able to get Leanne (the girl) interested in history and sociology because we simply went on tyrades and tangents about the state of the world and why it is the way it is. It started off harmless enough with talking about, actually fuck if I remember what we were talking about to start, but it evolved into: The problems with Canada can all be blamed on Brian Mulroney cancelling the National Policy and signing the first Canada-US free trade agreement; the social issues of why women will hide behind the term of feminism simply because they want to hate men and not be equals in society, then demand they be treated with noble intentions and lavished with gifts; why a lot of music nowadays absolutely fucking sucks becase of auto-tune and over-engineering, jon-bon jovi ruining music, madonna helping, michael jackson putting the final bullet into it and britney spears making sure that horse stays dead; why I overthink shit and have a hard time reading women and dating in general; and why beer is awesome.

I have a tendancy, by myself, to go on long tyrades and rants about things that I have opinions on and am very passionate about. I care about the world, and I hate seeing it go to shit simply because some people want to benefit due to their feeling entitled to their profits, justifying it with working hard; hard at stepping on others and stealing from them and bleeding the world dry. Makes PERFECT sense to me. Wall street bailout? 700 billion, yet we won't take 3 billion to feed people in Africa or Asia and empower them to be self sfficient in smaller communities. I'll stop now...

But when you get me and Adam together, the world shakes and starts to pound with shattering smouldering intensity it may as well summon the four horsemen of the apocolypse. Rants and passionate tangents intensify, and, yeah, we've fucking scared people at malls and in cars next to us. I kid you not. Yes our live show is better, plus it's really hard to blog about.

However, our opinion on the state of girls in the dating world reflects this vlog by Jenna: Seriosuly this girl is fucking awesome! I want to meet her, shake her hand, take her to coffee, debate and rant, okay fuck it. You get the idea.

Eventually, as always happens with us, we decide to fuck the real world and talk about nothing other than Star Wars. Which, is oddly reflective of our real world and you have to admit it, but it's simply because we're uber nerds and well, we want to feel like we've accomplished something.

Let's face it, we don't like looking inside ourselves, because we see that little girl with the wet black hair huddled in a corner crying while wearing a straight-jacket, saying "maybe nothing really matters..." That's why I drink and play videogames. Works for me.

If it wasn't 2:30 AM, I'd be playing metal right now...